The Rover-Landers of BC

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the trails;
Every Jeep was stranded, their progress like snails.

They had no shovels, no rope and no winch;
No CB, no cell-phone, they couldn’t move an inch.

When out from a mud pit, there arose such a clatter;
All the 'wheelers came running, to see what’s the matter.

Up through the mud, my Land Rover did go;
As l looked at the Jeeps, all stuck in a row;

At the front of the line, a Jeep covered in crud;
He had blown his motor, trying to get free of the mud.

As he stood there I saw, his face glowing red;
And l knew in an instant, this is what he most dread.

I glanced at his roof, it was all I could see;
He pleaded for help, from my winch and from me.

So I drove to the front, in my trusty Land Rover;
Spooled out the winch cable, said ''Hook 'er up and move over!''

So he went for a swim, in that cold watery hell;
Getting wet and dirty, and starting to smell.

He hooked up my cable, to his buried front hook;
And I put a coat on the line, like it says in the book.

I winched him out quickly, and watched his expression;
And charged him a C-note, to teach him a lesson.

Then I drove my old Land Rover, back through the muck;
No problem for me, because l have a REAL truck!

And l wound down my window, as l drove out of sight;
Then yelled to the crowd, ''Next time, stay home on Christmas night!''

:rolly: